Defeat The Half-Brother: Wonderswan.
Defeat The High-End: Nec PC Engine GT.
Defeat The Wannabe: Watara Supervision.
Defeat The Worst Game Boy Imitation Ever: Game Plus and get your birthday cake.
Complete rooms 1 through 8 without taking damage.
Complete rooms 9 through 16 without taking damage.
Complete rooms 17 through 24 without taking damage.
Complete rooms 25 through 30 without taking damage.
Complete the game without running out of batteries.
Complete the game within 6 minutes.