Congratulations! You won one game!

Boo!!! You Stink! You lost a game! You're fired!

You finished a game with over 50,000 networth! Congratulations!

You finished with a networth below $100! Impressive ineptitude!

Have a cumulative liftime net worth of over 1 million!

Have a cumulative liftime net worth of over 1 billion!

You doubled your investment! Wow! Whoa!

You lost half your starting money! Boo!

You played a 30 year game! Hopefully you made enough to pay off that mortgage!

You took out a loan! Good luck paying it back!

You forgot to pay your loan and lost all your money! Too bad!

You paid off your loan! You're free, for now...

10 wins? You got to pump those numbers up if you want to make it in this racket

Whoa, after 100 wins, looks like you can start making these trades legally (if you want to)

After 1,000 wins, haven't you made enough money? What could you possibly need any more for?

10 loses? Happens to everyone. You're just trying to get your sea legs. It takes some longer than others...

Oof, 100 loses? Are you sure you want to keep doing this? I don't think it's working out.

1,000 loses? It's time for a talk...

Hey, your stalk split! Is that good? Is that bad? Who can say what anything is these days.

300 shares of an individual stalk? Let's frickin go!

Owning at least 10 shares of every stalk and bond? Interesting strategy. I hope it works out for you (get a load of this guy lol)

You played a 99 year game. Why? Is this a call for help.

Your stalk went bankrupt? It went to zero? They're allowed to do that?

That yeehaw was much obliged, pardner

After 100 yeehaws, it's still tickles my bits to see a familiar face such as yourself