Finished cleaning up that library

Solved the Cemetery Groundskeeper's problems

Beat the game once

Beat the game 5 times

Beat the game 20 times

Beat the game 50 times

Beat the game 100 times

Returned as many overdue books as you could carry

Fully explored the graveyard's underbelly

Showed all the gangs in the Swampyard who's king of the hill

Finished every side quest

Played the game using a baking related secret

Played the game using the hardest of hardcore secrets

Played the game using the dev secret

Played the game using the advanced loot secret

Played the game using a ranged secret

Played the game using a painful secret

fell 10 times, yet persevered

fell 50 times, yet persevered

fell 100 times, yet persevered

fell 250 times, yet persevered

fell 1000 times, yet persevered

Beat the game using a baking related secret

Beat the game using the hardest of hardcore secrets

Beat the game using the dev secret

Beat the game using an advanced loot secret

Beat the game using a ranged secret

Beat the game using a painful secret

Defeated 25 baddies

Defeated 100 baddies

Defeated 250 baddies

Defeated 1000 baddies

Defeated 2500 baddies

Defeated 5000 baddies

Defeated 10,000 baddies

Beat the game in under 60 minutes

Took 1000 turns towards victory

Took 5000 turns towards victory

Took 25,000 turns towards victory

Took 100,000 turns towards victory

Took 1,000,000 turns towards victory

"Lose" 100,000 brain cells