Start story mode!
Shoot 1,000 total bullets.
Shoot 1,000,000 total bullets.
Find one of the few rare ways to die from fall damage.
Please don't say "get rekt." Defeat "David the Destroyer."
Kill 203 Lisas.
And you're being a real David right now. Defeat "The Protector."
Scorpios are better though. Defeat "Apprencii."
Eyeballs are gross. Defeat "Beholder."
What a... nice guy! Defeat "Art."
Ignite an explosive with an explosion.
... Defeat "Credits."
Die.
Die 100 times.
Die 1,000 times.
Extinguish a lit fuse.
Die at terminal velocity.
Look at all the damns I give. Defeat "Damn."
Kill 400 Scribbles.
Beat "Art's Rejects" with the "Timed" Level Modifier active.
Kill a boss despite being dead. #NoFilter
Listen to the entirety of The Guide's tidbits.
Touch a pressure-based explosive.
Die 5,000 times.
Kill 44 Notes.
Tear 1,000 targets.
Kill 250 Knights.
Kill 404 Photos.
Kill your first dust bunny.
Defeat "Art", in "Easy Mode", without taking any damage.
Enable "Easy Mode" in the intro.