Here you go! You deserve it! Everyone deserves it!

Alter your permanent record.

Get access to your locker.

Deliver all the supplies for making fine toilet wine.

Trick Patty into believing Ms. Puffs stole her lunch, then witness the beatdown.

Post all of Sawyer's flyers in the school.

Retrieve the rope in the school gymnasium.

Return overdue book to librarian.

Get a free pizza from Rod's Thick Pizza.

Fix Grandma's printer.

Get rid of the wasp nest.

Give Hobo Moe a new home.

Sneak into Golden Haze.

Deliver Grandma's racy photos to Bernie.

Get arrested.

Forge a signature on the permission slip.

Perform an aerial escape to avoid the bullies.

Acquire the lab technician's eyeball.

Reveal hidden lasers in the Secret Lab.

Use the retinal scanner in the Secret Lab.

Complete Chapter 1.

Help the Janitor by ruining Beverly's date.

Give a condom to a boy in need.

Get credit card signature from Mothercluck’n Chick’n customer.

Return the signed prom letter to Crystal.

Mail out Gertie's scathing letter.

Give Drug Dealer some scar cream.

Give Mark Hufferman a new marker.

Complete all optional sidequests.

Gain access to the girl's locker room.

Listen to the Bush's tragic story.

Stand in one location without moving for 20 minutes.

Ask every person you possibly can out to prom.

Collect every costume.

Listen to every one of Bernie's "Prune Swirl" insults.

Open every Kickstarter Backer locker in the school.

Stare at a bag blowing in the wind.

Catch Mr. Murphy in his S&M outfit.

Find both Ted Bear locations in Part 1.

Listen to all of Grandpa TieGuy's stories.

Get a pre-order for Lemon Abe’s Lemon-Flavored “Lemonade” Type Drink

Find a nightmarish costume.

Learn about 10 different ice cream flavors from Dr. Scoops.

Learn about 30 different library book titles.

Convince someone that you're God.

Find every Jesus.

Insult every object you can with your "Got 'ems"

Have a conversation with Shark Dad.

Complete Part 1 in less than 30 minutes without saving.

Deliver porn to Stevie Shades.

Distract Patty by making Starsky & Hutch get into a fight.

Distract Patty by making Starsky & Hutch fall in love.

Remain completely nude for at least 10 minutes.

Look at every Permanent Record in the Principal's Office.

Find Señor Cleanfist.