I feel confident you'll get this.

They're squiggly, wiggly and oh so jiggly!

Boogity-boogity!

Because people need to be aware who is in charge around here.

Reach at least 25 points in one statistic.

Reach at least 50 points in one statistic.

Attempt to make a love connection in the midst of danger.

Try an unorthodox exit strategy in chapter 5.

Complete a playthrough as Fiorella.

Complete a playthrough as Alexi

Just keep choosing, you'll get there eventually.

Because you have to spend money to make money.

To unlock this, die. It's harder than you might think.

Exploit an extinct species for fun and profit.

Find out more about the planned offensive.

If you plan to fail…

Take the missiles out of action.

Get the Nuclear Powered Toaster airborne once more.

Achieve the highest level in a relationship meter.

Outfit the Toaster with the best quality equipment possible.

Complete all of Chapter Five without tripping a single alarm.

Achieve, if not quite your wildest dreams, at least a couple of fair-to-moderate ones.

Don't let a little minor brain damage keep you from winning a fight.

Sacrifice a body part for the cause.

Be the least goodest guy you can be.

As Fiorella, successfully fly the Nuclear Powered Toaster.

Prove that they just don't make 'em like they used to.

At a critical moment, make sure no enemy leaves the battlefield alive.

At a critical moment, value restraint over satisfaction.

Avoid unnecessary wear and tear on your vehicle.

Shamelessly exploit your connections for the greater good.

Go 0-for-2 in finding important people willing to help you out.

Push one of your comrades to loathe the very sight of you.

Complete the mountain path in chapter 3 and enter the base without being captured.

Snoop around as Fiorella and find out something about your destination in chapter 1.

Be the most goodest guy out there!

If they can build it, you can punch it out.

Come to a nonviolent resolution with an engine of destruction. It's less exciting, but at least there's not as much mess to clean up afterwards.

Bring your meeting in chapter 4 to a satisfying conclusion.

Bring one of your enemy's toys down to earth in chapter 3.

Get a rather unique Iditarod-ish experience in chapter 6.

In chapter 6, hit Solus where it hurts: her aircraft budget.