You are immune to criticism. You are simply THE best. Everything your hands get to touch and create is GENIUS. This achievement is unique and is meant to be given to no one but you. Everyone else has a fake copy of it.
When you jogged for three days in a row, prepared yourself mentally to serve in the army, boasted that you were going to be a paratrooper, and then suddenly failed all medical tests — can this be considered as "almost served", or not?
It would be an awful thing to open coffins if we weren't talking about their back panel containing the control panel. And since it's all about the control panel, then all is well, and you can proceed to open it.
It's very easy to determine a person's mental disorder by the color of his spacesuit. Especially if you're a charlatan. A real professional will try to find and add all the other possible signs of the illness.
There's no point in heroically covering a barrel of a beam weapon with your chest. You can, if you like, but in this case, it's just not necessary. If you really want to do it, don't forget to turn the weapon off first.