Win a single player game on easy.

Win a single player game on normal.

Win a single player game on hard.

Win a co-op game on hard.

Win a game without pooping on Samson or the Chipmunk Army.

Win a game without pooping on the street musician.

Poop on every Democrat in one game.

Poop on every Republican in one game.

Poop on every politician in one game.

Find and poop on Vladimir Putin.

Poop on all the dead presidents to get the extra life on board three.

Score 100 points from one poop.

Get enough points to beat the first level.

Get enough points to beat the second level.

Finish the third level.

Get enough points to beat the fourth level.

Get enough points to beat the fifth level.

Get enough points to beat the sixth level.

Beat the final level.

Make a politician puke.