High speed internet, High technology, a decent space program and driverless cars.

If it moves, tax it!

Everybody out! Literally in this case, strikes everywhere.

You will know my name by my trail of astronomically high crime figures.

A rising tide lifts all the super yachts in the harbour…but also submerges the smaller vessels.

You have become a true hero of the environmental movement, expect a statue made of recycled plastic.

50% of our country is now draped in, in the shadow of, or actually made from flags.

It’s astonishing how many times an assassin's bullet has failed to achieve its objective.

Bust out the cosmonaut outfits, this socialist utopia is going into orbit.

People use terms like 'technocracy' to describe your efforts to build a super educated population.

Congratulations, here’s your reward for winning the race for the intellectual bottom.

Our citizens do enjoy a bit of the good stuff these days, be it alcohol, tobacco, or just donuts.

Food and water are in short supply, but I’ll tell you what isn't. Violent gangs and violent storms.

We now have more guns in the country than we do dogs, cats, people and birds combined.

Obviously only people who have something to hide have any real reason to fear the gaze of the state.

The rich may not be cuddly, but we still enjoy giving them a darned good squeeze now and then.

If you want to get something done, you subsidize it.

Transport is bigger and better! Space program is bigger and better! Prisons are bigger and better!

You can judge a society by what they eat, our society is as healthy as they come.

Short hours, high wages and agreeable working practices make this a paradise for people in work!

We have built a socialist paradise on earth, mostly by banning anything that looks too capitalist.

What do we want? CARS! When do we want them? CARS!

We’ve developed a reputation of being a wild west where anybody can do anything they like.

Praise the lord! For our country has truly achieved heights of impressive piety.

The geek shall inherit the earth! Or make everyday life quite difficult without their inventions.

Your reluctance to stick to manifesto pledges is something of vote winner. Congratulations, I guess.

Strong on crime, strong on the causes of crime.

Who are we to tell you what to do? Oh, that's right we're a brutal, authoritarian regime.

A healthy nation, is a happy and productive nation (probably).

Son, if you want to make money these days I have just one word for you: Gravedigging.

Could you spend 5 minutes away from every media platform to just run the country? Please?!?

You truly believe that future generations should have things better off than those that came before.

Our cities may stink, but everyone agrees the rural parts of our country are a great place to be!

Our country is at the nexus of international agreement and has a reputation second to none.

Do all of your ministerial offices come with revolving doors fitted as standard?

Just keep saying to yourself “Winners don’t quit” and add them to the autobiography hit list.

When we said "Enjoy governing with that wafer thin majority" it was sarcasm, not a credo.

They said a socialist paradise could not be built, but we have built it here together!