You ranked up to Level 5!

You ranked up to Level 10!

You ranked up to Level 20!

You ranked up to Level 30!

You hit max rank! Way to go, you made it, aren't you something… You still have to come in tomorrow.

Achieve your first x2 Rage!

Achieve 5 x2 Rages in a single game.

NO SERIOUSLY!?!? Find 42 keys

Pass all levels with at least one golden poo.

Jeez, I hope you washed your hands first. You've gained all the golden poos in all levels!

Even Dante stopped at 9... But 10??? 30 poos... If only your mom could see you now… Or cared.

You prefer to be a gentleman when destroying your surroundings.

Destroy 95% of the items in the room in a single level.

You passed level 1! You know what to do, onto level two!

Tossed your hat in the ring...and 49 thousand other things too!

Accidents happen, like YOU...AGAIN!?! Seriously… I needed that

Destroy 500 computer monitors.

Destroy 500 computer towers.

Destroy 1000 chairs.

Destroy 1000 coffee pots.

Destroy/use 100 staplers.

Destroy 10,000 filing cabinets.

Smash 100 of your coworkers pictures.

Accumulate 1,000,000 points. Seriously High premium.

Accumulate 10,000,000 points

Destroy 13 donuts.

50 thousand? Such knuckles oooOOOooo!

Hungry much?

The Pixel Sword Unlocked! Shave and a haircut, 8 bits!

Mischeiv_os Unlocked! Karpee Vernasco Necktie...wait, that's not right.

Holy Keyboard Unlocked! And a caps (f)Lock of Angels sing the to thy rest.

Grabbity Gun Unlocked! What goes up… must stay up?

REDDEATH Unlocked! Righteous ranged ricochet red. Really.

R.I.F.E. Unlocked! Looks like your AXE got FIRED!

Golden Poo Unlocked! Even polished… It is what it is.

Customize your cubicle!

Customize Philbert's arms!

Unlock all patterns...for now.

Spark one up and Rock-et retro style!

HAHAHAH CRY SOME MORE!!

Go for Pink slips in your W.I.P. Whip!