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Secret Achievements (Show)
POSTAL 2 Achievements
R. Kelly's Protege
Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Gained your first dog helper.
Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.
Taxidermy with Chuck Testa
Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Michonne ain't got nothin' on me
Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.
Someone's got a case of the Mondays!
C U Next Tuesday
OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!
It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays
Workin' for the Weekend
Screw Bill Lumbergh!
I swear, I thought it was a home fill
Exploded a nuclear bomb.
Cesar Millan is Very Happy
Mauled 30 people with your dog.
OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale
Roasted 30 people with fire.
Rebecca Black's Nightmare
Totaled 30 cars.
Kicked 30 dogs.
Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Reddit would be proud.
Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.
Pussy on a Pedestal
Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace
Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.
Do you even Enzyte, bro?
Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
Running With Scissors
Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!
Killed over 1,000 people.
And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree
Killed all of the book protestors in the library.
Lieberman is our Leader!
Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.
Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.
Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Can't Touch This
Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Fear and Loathing
Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.
Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Rick Grimes 4 Life
Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.
40 Year Old Virgin
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
CAN YOU DIG IT?!
Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)
Planet of the Apes: The Musical
Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.
Scientology Level: OT VIII
Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.
Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.
It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog
Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Where's Mr. McGibblets?
Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Finkle IS Einhorn!
Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Anger Management With Roger Clemens
Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.
"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.
Don't taze me, bro!
Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
I Am Legend
Committed suicide... the Taliban way.
I should buy a boat
Read the newspaper every day.
Friend of Dorothy
Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Paid the Piper
Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.
Well, aren't YOU a badass
Kicked open a door.
I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you
Put out someone that's on fire.
It's sterile and I like the taste
Sucked down your own piss.
It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway
Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Wore all three outfits.
I don't need virgins for this
Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.
Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.
Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.
Killed someone with a flying jump kick.
One time, at band camp...
Saved the marching band from explody death.
There's always money in the banana stand
Found the secret bank exit on Monday.
SCREW that game!
Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.
Found 'em faster than GWB
Discovered the hidden Taliban base.
Gotta pay the Troll Toll
Found one of the hidden underground sewers.
Made a very long killing spree.
Gary vs. The K. Man
Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.
You are not alone
Observed an NPC going POSTAL!
Thanks for the money!
Finished all seven days.
Reunited with an old friend.
Holocaust: Part Deux
Reunited with an old enemy.
Rain on your Wedding Day
Reunited with an old flame.
Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad
Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.
Better than POSTAL III
Rescued your loyal companion.
My Name is Jesus
Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.
Harder than r/gonewild
Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.
Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)
Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.
Wasted no time with the Wise Wang.
Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.
Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.
Killed Zack Ward.
Ode to Eddings
Deactivated all of the Vend-A-Cure XJ-2 units.
Ladies Love Cake
Defeated your hateful ex-wife with delicious cake.
Rich on Reddit
Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
Spent $2000 on vending machines.
Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
You Snow Nothing John Blow
Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.
Kicked 10 people in the balls.
I'm not even supposed to be here today!
Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!