Make your first kill.

Start the second level.

Duck under a rocket.

Run for 5 minutes.

Perform your first execution.

Make 100 kills.

Make 1000 kills.

Make 10000 kills.

Complete level 10.

Complete the game.

Fire 1,000,000 bullets.

Hit 100,000 targets.

Take 10,000 hits.

Complete the game having killed everything.

Complete the game without letting any non-hostile NPCs die

Complete the game using only the M16.

Use every weapon in the game.

Complete a level with less than 10 health.

Fight an ostrich.

Watch all the credits.

Play the Mac or Linux version of the game.

Firebomb the band.

Take a rocket to the face.

Kill a naked person.

Enable cheats.

Commit suicide.

Touch someone while burning.