Your thumbs have become comfortably numb

You filled the gas can up ALL the way

You beat Jessica at chess

You posed for two different fedora pictures

You solved Mrs. Brewster's mystery

You won all the prizes at the Ocean City Boardwalk

You bought a barrel

You closed the Time Loop

You drove enemies out of 23 Hilbert House rooms

You passed all nine SIT courses (requires multiple playthroughs)

You helped the workers of Haim Quarry

You got a fully-decked out Monster Shack sash

You defeated the Ziggurat Goliath

You maximized morale in the Maize Maze

You executed a perfect heist

You completed all of Don T's assignments

Gabby saved the universe

Obie saved the universe

Molly saved the universe

Barker saved the universe

Adams saved the universe

Simone saved the universe

Alphonse saved the universe

You completed the game without fighting

You received the hobo camp's highest honor

You unlocked every cat

You flushed every toilet