What is the Dark Room? The Dark Room is:

1. Sadism. With jokes.
2. An addictive throwback to 1980s text adventure games.
3. A one-of-a-kind retro-styled comedy puzzler that pits your pitiful brain against brutal deathtraps in the pursuit of freedom.
4. An adventure with a deep hidden story you can only unlock through skill, patience and exploration.
5. The kind of thing you can send to your friends just to make them very, very angry.
6. The exact opposite of an open-world game.
7. Like Fortnite, but only in the sense that it’ll make you want to kill.

With over three-and-a-half hours of recorded content, plus profanity, comedy, body horror, puzzles and warped logic, this is the Dark Souls of text adventures, the BDSM of RPGs, it’d be a walking simulator, but only if you were walking through a minefield.

Level One has 60 minutes of specially mo-capped dialogue and performance, while levels 2, 3 and Darkest give you even more, and will bring you the true story of Darren. Your money goes into making the game bigger, louder and more dangerous!

The Dark Room is the videogame adaptation of the interactive stage show of the same name from comedian John Robertson. So play this, then, when the show comes to your town, gather with the other survivors. Just remember - YA DIE! YA DIE! YA DIE! YA DIE!

Pick up the game while it's in Early Access and help us create the full Dark Room experience!

“This is the future of gaming.” - Ron Gilbert, on Twitter. (Original version, 2012)

“Is there a map? I’m lost.” - Ron Gilbert, on Twitter, three hours later. (Original version, 2012)

“The Dark Room is the stern scolding we all deserve... one of the most clever, hilarious and innovative takes on the genre I’ve ever seen” - PC PowerPlay

8/10 - Starburst Magazine

“I ate lint” - GameInformer AU