Bounce a ball 25 times in the apartment, because apparently that's more fun than the actual game.
Kill all of Tony's pets... I'm tired of them pooping on my lawn.
Listen to all of Pop Up's introduction; ignore the homeless man being murdered outside your door.
Press the buttons on the Puzzle Tree 50+ times, cuz you don't listen, you little popsicle stick.
Let the two arguing clones kill each other and then don't report it. This isn't a game for snitches!
Escape Doopy without putting boxes in the garage, because charity work is lame and you're not lame.
Collect the clone DNA in under 10 minutes. That's it? Man, we're just giving these things away.
Kill every villager. That's right, we celebrate violence! What do you think about that, mom and dad?
Don't kill any villagers, because God forbid you do something out of the ordinary!
Jump Trover into the Acid Lake 5 times. How is this even an achievement?
Instead of feeding the poor, feed Gail's roommate in under 5 minutes!
Witness Donny's death, then write an essay about it for your college application.
Glorkon mixed the world! What they get an achievement for that? But it’s just a cut scene!
Beat Glorkon without getting killed by anyone... Including me. That’s right, I’ve been hunting you.
You got the final upgrade! You're all sticky, like a popsicle stick!
Replay the game, instead of getting a real job.
You beat the game! You can die a happy now, you slimy, little popsicle stick.
IT'S BBALL TIME! MAKE ONE BBALL BASKET IN THE TELEPOD LIKE A GOOD LITTLE BBALL BOY OR BBALL GIRL!
You made 10 baskets, now make 100! Come on, what else do you gotta do today?
What the hell is the matter with you?! You actually made 100 baskets?! What are you a sociopath?!
You killed a NPC. That’s gonna affect the whole game! Your actions have consequences in this game!
You did it! You killed every killable NPC! You're certified, psychopathic killer!
Collect all Power Babies in the game. Then prepare to have your shnudler ringled!
Jopo Saves the Universe
You collected all the rare power babies! Let’s sell ‘em on my boy, T-Ham's Etsy account!
You got the high score in Space Slam, and my wife isn't dead! We're slaying it!
You watched a VCR tape! Was the clue clear enough for you? God forbid you figure it out yourself!