Buy a dark horse
Buy a pale horse
Buy a crazy horse
Leave Boring Springs with 1337 Meat
Fully populate the Dirtwater jail
Fully populate the Dirtwater morgue
Learn how cotton candy is made
Solve all of Breadwood's problems
Reanimate Buffalo Buffalo Buffalo Bill
Blow yourself up at Kellogg Ranch
Discover 37 map locations out West
Learn 69 El Vibrato words
Become the Necromancer
Build three kinds of bridges (over three playthroughs)
Give Norton a crown
Contain Roberto
Find Curly's Meat
Finish the game with Crazy Pete
Finish the game with Susie Cochrane
Finish the game with Doc Alice
Finish the game with Gary the Goblin
Finish the game with the Hard Hat
Finish the game with the Hard Hat in a single game day
Discovered the true secret of Gun Manor
Dealt with all 13 of the Gun Manor ghosts peacefully
Reckoned with all 13 of the Gun Manor ghosts
Endure all 10 jump scares in Gun Manor
Loved a spittoon that didn't love you back (in Gun Manor)