You survived being bitten by a werewolf without becoming one yourself.

You have a fine career ahead of you as an old sailing days reenactor.

You wonder if any of the pro-supernatural activists are looking into mental health for vampires.

Your pop culture quotes are almost as over the top as Jules's.

Your hours on the internet reading slashfic have finally been put to good use.

You've always loved this poem; would have been great if it worked.

Help arrived when you called; you've got friends.

It's like you're doing this whole thing in slow motion.

Yeah, that's not going to get fixed.

At least you don't have a beard.