Complete a level after collecting every coin in a single run.
(When life gives you coins, you collect them. And don’t you dare question the physics behind their instantaneous disappearance on contact or the repercussions of multidimensional translocation of imaginary currency.)
Complete a level without collecting a single coin in a single run.
(Imagine if there was a trophy like this for every level. That would be fun, wouldn't it? Constantly replaying every level and restarting as soon as you hit one of those coins scattered all over the place. Would it even be possible? You would have to jump over entire buildings in some cases. Sure it might be fun at first, but by golly by Stage 4 I sure would be sick of it. But you can do it. I know you can, cause you are one of a kind [just like everybody else]! Or would you cave? Give up before the going gets tough? Why bother if it’s only going to make you feel like a stressed, depressed citron, umm, zest?! There, I made the title fit in somehow! Are you proud mommy? Will you return my calls now?)
Lose while stunned by a “bird”.
(Somewhere, a [redacted] is laughing at you.)
(I was informed by [redacted] that I had to change this trophy description. Support your local, very-real birds. They work very hard respecting our privacy. There's no war in Bah.... s... se...)
Honk your horn.
(I know at least one person who would un-alive me if they found out I used this joke as a trophy title, and nobody else would get it, but hey, it was worth it so I could put it up on my trophy cabinet.)
(AndI'mprettysurehedoesn'tknowwhereIlive, so it's all goooood....)
Start the first level and then start the last level without losing in between.
(Literally. Just do exactly that. Don’t think about it too hard. Then go flaunt this trophy and claim you beat every level in a single run because I'm sure you did...)
Traverse 13 buildings.
(What is this I hear of a Bakersville? Wanna pick me up some cupcakes while you’re there? [Yes, I moved the ‘s’ in Baskervilles, but so did the Eggsbenedict Cabbagepatch adaptation.])
Traverse 50 buildings.
(This is a long road trip. Let’s sing a song:
50 buildings with roofs on the road, 50 buildings with roofs. Take one down and pass it around, 49 buildings with roofs on the road.
49 buildings with roofs on the road, 49 buildings with roofs. Take one down and pass it around, 48 buildings with roofs on the road.
48 buildings with roofs on the road, 48 buildings with roofs. Take one down and pass it around, 47 buildings with roofs on the road.
47 buildings with roofs on the road, 47 buildings with roofs. Take one down and pass it around, 46 buildings with roofs on the road.
46 buildings with roofs on the road, 46 buildings with roofs. Take one down and pass it around, 45 buildings with roofs on the road.
45 buildings with roofs on the road, 45 buildings with roofs. Take one down and pass it around, 44 buildings with roofs on the road.
44 buildings with roofs on the road, 44 buildings with roofs. Take one down and, oh there's a character limit. That's disappointing.
Traverse 24 buildings in a single run in Unlimited Mode.
(If a typical block has six buildings on each side, then you could alternatively call this Around the Block. If there was a chicken farm somewhere along the block, then you can-.)
Traverse past a “bird” (and live!) in Unlimited Mode. Alternatively, traverse 75 buildings in a single run in Unlimited Mode.
(Greeghan is best scalie boy who did nothing wrong and deserved better. Sending all good draggos love and cuddles~.)
(ヽơ ₃ ơ)ﾉ⌒♥.
Max out your extra life bar in Unlimited Mode.
(You are now a ten-armed monstrosity with the sole purpose of running your disturbed extremities against a suburban neighborhood that never seems to end. All ten of those arms are on your left, and their weight shifts your body’s balance to fall on your left side. You’re forced to crawl along the ground, like a monstrous centipede of left-handed arms.
In the distance: the screams of children who now believe the monster in their closet is real. A cleansing flame and countless sirens follows you everywhere you go, and it draws closer with every breath. The buildings seem to grow further and taller, but you must keep running from the nearing edge.
There is no stopping, there is no living. There is only running.)
Collect 10 more coins while already having max lives in Unlimited Mode.
(You run and run, and at last there is a light in the distance. Your loved ones meet you at the end of the road. They fearfully hold your hands, masking their tears with a false smile.
The water grows cold, and the sirens and screams slow to a pause. “Never let go,” you say, shivering but feeling safe within the warmth of their company. “We promise,” they say, “we will never let go, Jack.”
Those words gave you a sigh of relief, but it soon turned to concern as your name wasn’t Jack. You replayed those words in your head, tracing each nuance and overtone. But as quickly as those words faded into silence, so too did the promises.
You see the emptiness in their eyes. Even worse, you finally see yourself, as you really are. The ship is sinking. There is no future, there is no space on the door. And they let go, chuckling at the reference they were just dying to make.
But you still have nine lives left, amiright?)
Lose with one coin short of an extra life in Unlimited Mode.
(I’ve been informed I’ve been spending too much time working on these descriptions and should get back to work... Now I've gotta come up with 64 trophy icons, oof.)