• 41,841 Achievements Earned
  • 8,411 Players Tracked
  • 28 Total Achievements
  • 4,747 Obtainable EXP
  • 180 100% Club
Achievement
Rarity
Earned Date
  • Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

    9.59% (59.5)
  • Move to the left.

    71.69% (9.3)
  • Move to the right.

    71.58% (9.7)
  • Penetrate God.

    6.84% (154.1)
  • Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.

    10.05% (51.9)
  • Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.

    53.43% (11.3)
  • Swallow every worm.

    5.27% (281.8)
  • Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

    4.67% (425.0)
  • Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.

    29.93% (15.7)
  • Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.

    21.19% (20.9)
  • Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

    4.86% (348.8)
  • Submit your monthly physical report.

    5.36% (236.8)
  • Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

    8.64% (79.6)
  • You should see a doctor immediately.

    3.89% (566.3)
  • Die a lot of times in your nightmares.

    12.14% (38.2)
  • Start taking responsibility for you actions.

    24.04% (18.4)
  • Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

    8.11% (93.2)
  • Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

    3.73% (707.8)
  • Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

    15.36% (28.4)
  • Finish last in a Party Mode game.

    53.23% (11.9)
  • Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

    10.26% (46.0)
  • Marry yourself in Abstinence.

    9.23% (68.2)
  • Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

    6.99% (132.2)
  • Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

    7.07% (114.3)
  • Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

    6.35% (185.3)
  • Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

    16.62% (25.1)
  • Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

    14.26% (32.2)
  • Save yourself for that special orgy.

    3.08% (975.1)