• 14,877 Achievements Earned
  • 2,925 Players Tracked
  • 28 Total Achievements
  • 4,322 Obtainable EXP
  • 75 100% Club
Achievement
Rarity
Earned Date
  • Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

    10.36% (50.0)
  • Move to the left.

    71.32% (7.0)
  • Move to the right.

    70.94% (7.0)
  • Penetrate God.

    7.25% (126.0)
  • Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.

    9.95% (56.0)
  • Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.

    53.57% (8.0)
  • Swallow every worm.

    5.98% (221.0)
  • Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

    5.16% (394.0)
  • Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.

    30.46% (12.0)
  • Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.

    22.19% (18.0)
  • Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

    5.33% (327.0)
  • Submit your monthly physical report.

    5.44% (274.0)
  • Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

    9.54% (65.0)
  • You should see a doctor immediately.

    4.62% (499.0)
  • Die a lot of times in your nightmares.

    12.89% (34.0)
  • Start taking responsibility for you actions.

    25.40% (15.0)
  • Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

    8.41% (89.0)
  • Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

    4.31% (625.0)
  • Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

    16.24% (25.0)
  • Finish last in a Party Mode game.

    53.20% (9.0)
  • Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

    10.43% (50.0)
  • Marry yourself in Abstinence.

    9.30% (74.0)
  • Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

    7.90% (106.0)
  • Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

    6.63% (154.0)
  • Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

    6.36% (183.0)
  • Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

    16.89% (22.0)
  • Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

    14.97% (28.0)
  • Save yourself for that special orgy.

    3.59% (844.0)