• 14,210 Achievements Earned
  • 2,820 Players Tracked
  • 28 Total Achievements
  • 4,405 Obtainable EXP
  • 71 100% Club
Achievement
Rarity
Earned Date
  • Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

    10.32% (41.0)
  • Move to the left.

    71.03% (6.0)
  • Move to the right.

    70.67% (7.0)
  • Penetrate God.

    7.27% (127.0)
  • Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.

    9.93% (54.0)
  • Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.

    53.16% (8.0)
  • Swallow every worm.

    5.85% (225.0)
  • Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

    5.14% (399.0)
  • Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.

    30.04% (12.0)
  • Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.

    21.99% (18.0)
  • Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

    5.28% (332.0)
  • Submit your monthly physical report.

    5.46% (276.0)
  • Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

    9.26% (79.0)
  • You should see a doctor immediately.

    4.54% (509.0)
  • Die a lot of times in your nightmares.

    12.73% (33.0)
  • Start taking responsibility for you actions.

    25.07% (15.0)
  • Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

    8.37% (90.0)
  • Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

    4.18% (644.0)
  • Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

    16.24% (24.0)
  • Finish last in a Party Mode game.

    52.84% (9.0)
  • Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

    10.18% (47.0)
  • Marry yourself in Abstinence.

    9.33% (79.0)
  • Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

    7.80% (106.0)
  • Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

    6.45% (157.0)
  • Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

    6.21% (186.0)
  • Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

    16.63% (22.0)
  • Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

    14.47% (28.0)
  • Save yourself for that special orgy.

    3.48% (872.0)