• 21,950 Achievements Earned
  • 4,362 Players Tracked
  • 28 Total Achievements
  • 4,631 Obtainable EXP
  • 102 100% Club
Achievement
Rarity
Earned Date
  • Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

    9.88% (77.0)
  • Move to the left.

    70.86% (20.9)
  • Move to the right.

    70.66% (21.9)
  • Penetrate God.

    7.04% (111.7)
  • Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.

    10.16% (71.5)
  • Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.

    53.07% (26.7)
  • Swallow every worm.

    5.52% (151.7)
  • Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

    4.77% (430.3)
  • Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.

    30.56% (35.1)
  • Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.

    21.99% (46.1)
  • Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.

    5.30% (344.4)
  • Submit your monthly physical report.

    5.46% (152.4)
  • Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

    9.03% (89.3)
  • You should see a doctor immediately.

    4.26% (546.5)
  • Die a lot of times in your nightmares.

    12.40% (61.7)
  • Start taking responsibility for you actions.

    25.03% (40.7)
  • Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

    8.62% (96.2)
  • Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

    4.08% (674.8)
  • Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

    16.02% (53.3)
  • Finish last in a Party Mode game.

    53.48% (25.4)
  • Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

    10.73% (66.4)
  • Marry yourself in Abstinence.

    9.58% (82.9)
  • Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.

    7.43% (103.7)
  • Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

    6.49% (129.7)
  • Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

    6.60% (120.4)
  • Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.

    16.46% (49.5)
  • Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.

    14.51% (57.4)
  • Save yourself for that special orgy.

    3.21% (943.2)