Started the game.
Got your first achievement.
You're emotionally sensitive.
You don't play by the rules.
You pressed the button you weren’t supposed to. Good job.
Wander off during the flashback.
Found the teleporter’s blind spot.
Escaped the horrors of the hallway.
Made the receptionist quit.
Achieved a perfect score on the IQ test.
A perfect memory! Or you cheated.
Conquered level 1 of Dr. Chair's game.
Defeated level 2 of Dr. Chair's game.
Crushed level 3 of Dr. Chair's game.
Annihilated level 4 of Dr. Chair's game.
Find the musical ruby.
Find the artful ruby.
Find the ruby by following your father.
Find the ruby by unlocking the really nice sound.
Find the ruby atop the lighthouse.
Found the meaning of life.
Cast misfortune upon yourself far too many times.
Completed the game.
Found out that doors close for a reason.
Did absolutely nothing.
How can one live without a reflection?
Bested level 5 of Dr. Chair's game.
Outsmarted level 6 of Dr. Chair's game.
Found all 10 rubies. You're the GOAT.
Prevailed over the GRAND FINALE.
Find the ruby beyond the stairs.
Find the ruby using the sick car.
Find the ruby by counting beyond the geese.
Find the ruby by entering the perfect numbers.
Find the ruby within Dr. Chair's game.
Completed the DLC.
Got a 1000 from the 1-10 button.
Yes, I do.
Wow.
Now, that's a compliment.
Your saviour.
Dodged all the flying cars.
Angered the time machine.
Found the stolen stapler.
Trapped by the time machine.
Become wealthy beyond your wildest dreams.