Successfully enter both your quips in a round

Win both battles in a round

Win all battles in Rounds 1 and 2

Play an 8-player game

Enter the same thing as your opponent

Get a Quiplash! (sweep votes in a 5+-player game)

Get 70% or more of the votes in The Last Lash

Play a game with an Audience

Write a quip that Schmitty actually responds to

Write "meatloaf candy" and win a battle with it