Kill the princess you were supposed to save.

Kick the messenger.

Ask politely for this achievement.

Kill somebody with a fish.

Play music with a lightning-infused lute.

Use a bomb, a baguette and lightning on water.

Use a wind trap to jump higher.

Deal 200+ damage with an anvil.

Put the game in French, and kill somebody with a baguette.

Hit somebody behind a door by kicking it, twice.

Cut off 4 limbs of the enemy.

Kill somebody with a chandelier.

Grab a weapon mid-air.

Kill an enemy by jumping on them.

Kick yourself with mind control.

Finish a level without using any regular weapon, only improvised ones.

Kick somebody while inside a barrel.

Make 10 enemies slip on ice, fish, or banana in a level.

Mind control the glorious leader.

Find all books.

Find all scrolls.

Kill everybody in a level.

Beat a level without being detected.

Complete a level in less than 1 minute.

Join House Pigeonclaw.

Join House Trufflepug.

Join House Sneakeryn.

Join House Chickendor.

Don't kill anybody in a level.