Kill all of Tony's pets... I'm tired of them pooping on my lawn.

Listen to the entirety of Pop Up's introduction, and ignore the homeless man being murdered outside your door.

Press the buttons on the Puzzle Tree over 50 times, 'cause you don't know how to listen, you cute little popsicle stick.

Let the two arguing clones kill each other and then don't report it... This isn't game for snitches!

Escape Doopy without putting boxes in the garage, because charity work is lame and you're not lame. You're a cool little popsicle stick, aren't you?

Kill every villager. That's right, we celebrate violence! What do you think about that mom and dad?!

Don't kill any villagers, because God forbid you do something out of the ordinary!

Jump Trover into the Acid Lake 5 times. How is this even a trophy?

Witness Donny's death, then write an essay about it for your college application.

Glorkon mixed the world! Wait, they get a trophy for that? It’s just a cut scene. They didn’t do anything... God, this is so dumb.

Beat Glorkon without getting killed by anyone... Including me. That’s right, I’ve been hunting you.

You got the final upgrade! You're all sticky, like a popsicle stick!

You beat the game! You can die a happy now, you slimy, little popsicle stick.

You killed a NPC. That’s gonna affect the whole game! That’s right, your actions have consequences this game!

You did it! You killed every killable NPC! You're certified, psychopathic killer! Someone should probably call the police...

Jopo Saves the Universe

You collected all the rare power babies, now let’s sell ‘em! My boy, T-Ham, knows a guy that knows a guy that knows a guy that has an Etsy account who’ll help flip these lil’ babies!

Oof! Hey, Gorbin here. I just got done eating a sleeping bag sized burrito and let me tell ya, I’m feeling pretty good about myself. I feel like I could even bring back my dead wife. I bet you’re feeling pretty good, too, after getting the high score in Space Slam.

Hey, you watched a tape in the entertainment room. Was that clue clear enough for you? HUH!? All you little trophy hunters out there! God forbid you try and figure something out on your own!