Beat the game

Watch the credits at minimum speed

Beat the game on airplane mode

Try all the options

Unlock 5 or more prizes

Quit your job

Complete calibration without taking damage and centered cursor

Beat the game with all difficulty options to the max

Reach the end of the commentary

Beat the game without ever reverting a setting back to it's default value

Beat the game with more than 50% mouse Slidiness and Sensitivity

Spill more than 10000 gallons of blood