Unlock a S.A.M.

Kill 20 enemies while dual wielding double shotguns.

Party like it's 199.

Escape the Oil Rig.

Send Mental a message he won't forget.

Get justice. Get the Holy Grail. Get screwed over.

Sign Secchi's rifle.

Kill 50 healthy Kleers with a direct double shotgun hit.

Save a princess. Doesn't get more classic than that.

Kill 100 enemies with a headshot.

Kill a Belcher using Belcher collateral barf damage.

Ride the Popemobile to victory.

Protect humanity's treasures from invaders with no taste.

Unlock 10 S.A.M.s in a single playthrough.

Get knocked on the head and remember how you got here.

Cross the French countryside and get very cross.

Kill an Aludran Reptiloid using nothing but a pistol.

Make sure Gabriella is OK.

Assist a couple of young ladies out hunting.

Dismember 50 enemies with cannonballs.

Melee a big enemy.

Get a weaponized black hole, using science.

Find out what happened to the English airman.

Make 20 enemies kill each other using Psychotropic Grenades.

Go on a date with Hellfire.

One-shot kill 3 Werebulls with a shotgun.

Recover the alien artifact located by Dr. Stein.

Assist Dr. Vermetti in his war on worms.

Die HAARP With A Vengeance.

Don't fear the reaper. Be the reaper.

Achievement is your middle name.

What if you could talk to the monsters?

Kill 11 different enemies using melee attacks.

Discover Fulbert's great invention.

Kill 3 enemies with a double shotgun blast.

Kill 5 enemies in a row while your health is below 10 HP.

Run away from an angry volcano you foolishly antagonized.

Get together with your friends and kill something big.

Find out what happened to Alessandro.

Beat the game on any difficulty.

Collect scorched aliens for Professor Kiesel.

Navigate the citadel of Carcassonne. Start reassembling your team.

Kill a Witchbride using C4.

Fight alongside Massimo Murena.

Use the mininuke to eliminate 100 enemies at once.

Finish a text adventure. On an oil rig. During an alien invasion.

Save the rookie. Find Father Mikhail. See the sights.

Kill 5 enemies during a single Time Warp slowdown.

Recover a key stolen by a cultist.

Harvest 100 enemies with a combine harvester.

Spend 1000 minigun rounds while firing continuously.

Meet a powerful granny.

Destroy 10 propaganda drones.

Head into Rome. Ditch Rodriguez.