I finished it. Don’t ask where the meat went.

Fine… I’ll wear it. Still in charge though.

This is kidnapping. I will remember this.

The mouse was fast. I was faster.

If I suffer, I do it with style.

The couch survived today. Lucky thing.

White. Cold. Mine.

Clean. Respectful. Just how I like it.

I watched. I waited. I received.

It thought it was safe.

That sound. Click. Music.

This was humiliating.

It attacked first.

I was here. Now everyone knows.

Beautiful. Unhappy.

Good day. Time to sleep.

I sharpen my claws. The furniture trembles. Balance restored.

I am fast. I am dangerous. I will not slow down.

I almost caught it. Almost. This is personal.

Ready for adventure. Or a sprint across the apartment.

Do not disturb. I am busy doing nothing.

Full. The world is still safe.

The human thinks they are in control. Adorable.

I am art. Everything else is decoration.

A dirty job. I remain dignified.

My home. My fortress. My everything.

My spot. Was. Until I changed my mind.

Flowing. Shiny. I watch. I distrust.

It thought I was asleep. Wrong.

The expedition begins. Destination: food bowl.

I was here. Everyone knows now.

They washed me. I remember.

I ruined the day. Time to rest.

Bribery works. Always.

I am coming with you. This is not a request.

Yes. I look good. Officially.

It came back. Briefly.

Food arrives by itself. Technology is acceptable.

It squeaks. I am pleased. Temporarily.

I remember nothing. I regret nothing.

I know I’m being filmed. I pose.

Bad luck? No. Just me.

Charisma +100. Modesty not included.

You chose me. Lucky you.

Step two: sleep more.

Warm. Tasty. Earned.

I’m not sure it’s safe. I’m curious anyway.

I watch. I block. This is correct.

I am inside. Do not question it.

I hunt. Slowly. With drama.

It makes noise. I am angry.

Yes. I’m a myth. And a fact.